Remember a video I saw before, my sister cried and said: “Mom, you only love my brother and not me…”
Second-child families, please be “partial” to the eldest:
Tell your boss you still love him
After all, he had been “spoiled by thousands of people” and had to share it with another child without any warning. It was understandable that he did not accept it.
Parents need to be empathetic and understand that their child’s reaction is not unreasonable.
Give the first child enough love and security to feel that his parents still love him and won’t reduce that love just because another child comes along.
Jane Nelson, the founder of the Positive Discipline System, once proposed the “Candle of Love.”
Mom can take some candles and tell the child that these candles represent our family.
Light the first candle and say to the child, “This one represents a mother’s love. I gave all my love to your father when I met him.”
Then light a second candle, “and my mother’s love is still there.”
“When you were born, I gave you all my love.”Then a third candle was lit, “and the love of my mother for my father was still there.”
“When we had a baby, I gave him all my love, too.”Lighting the fourth candle, “My love for your father and you is still there.”
Tell your boss you don’t need to be “too sensible”
We have all heard the story of “Kong Rong let the pear”, now in many families, parents will use this story to teach their children modesty.
Would like to ask, do you think Kong Rong is happy?
If the pear is in Kong Rong’s hands, he may be happy to give it away.
If someone said at the beginning, because you are the boss, you will put out the hands of the pear, I think Kong Rong may not be happy.
Can strengthen a child’s “eldest” identity, is to let him have a kind of grown up, can take the initiative to take care of others feeling, rather than because he is the eldest, to be obedient.
pend more one-on-one time with your parents
The child will love this special time because it’s just for him and his parents, a second child family, and one of the parents has to make this time all the time.
For example, spend more time alone with your first child, help him bathe, sleep with him, and read him a bedtime story.
On weekends, take your boss out to eat his favorite food alone. Two of you can have a heart-to-heart conversation while eating. This will not only make your boss feel loved by your parents, but also help you learn more about your boss.
If you ask me how old is the difference between a second child?
I would say: if you have a choice, a four year difference is better.
However, data is always a reference, no matter what kind of age difference, it has its advantages and disadvantages.
We’re talking about age differences, but you’re mentally and physically ready.
In reality, most of the time, the plan can not catch up with the change, the little life so, although we will encounter a variety of problems, but also please believe that everything is the best arrangement.
For children, the best age difference is to gain a sibling love, a companion to grow up with each other.
No matter how old they are, there will always be joys and sorrows. Raising a child is really a university, and it is easy to go wrong if you are not careful.
Want two children to be satisfied with happiness, need to rely on adults battle of wits, do not have the second brother to ignore the eldest brother’s advice, give the eldest brother more love, he will naturally love the second child.